The Pendulum Swings...

When I was younger I always thought of myself as an extrovert. After all I loved people and was always very social. As I've gotten older I have become more introverted. I think I have come to learn that I need time to process and have time to myself so I can think and be.

During my teenage and college years I remember having inner battles where my 'introvert self' and my 'extrovert self' would fight with each other. Mostly whichever won I felt at a loss. It was as if I couldn't be free in either place, in either part of me. It's really nice too look back on those times and think, "I'm glad I'm over that!"  I still find myself in times where the pendulum of my extrovert swings toward the introvert side and I'm okay with that. It mostly amounts to how much energy I have, especially with new people I either have just met or strangers I haven't  met at all.   I like being able to swing from one side to the other. It's  interesting to me right now to see the pendulum swing from extrovert back to introvert as I move states away from my old home and my dear friends that I have taken time to get to know over the years.
Much of me is feeling this loss. Much of me is still grieving and processing this change. And whatever emotions I have left I spend with my 2 little ones who can go through the gamut of emotions sometimes in a 5 minute period or less!

Phew thank God He never changes---that I can depend on him in the good and the bad times. Thank God he is here with me during this transition and that it doesn't need to take work just to chat, to sit and listen to him. If only I would. So I am going to commit for this summer to 5 minutes a day set aside for him (hopefully it will spread to much more) . I am going to give God 5 minutes with no distractions: to simply stop, be still and listen. 5 minutes of my day not filled with an agenda or something to "do" but to rest, to turn to him and be. I thank my sister for the inspiration for this. She gave me a bookmark (I think from a recent study she heard from her church. (I linked pics of the bookmark on the bottom of this post)
Here is the poem from the back:

Let Your God Love You
      Edwina Gately

Be still.
Be silent.
Alone.
Empty.
Before your God.
Say nothing.
Ask nothing.
Be silent.
Be still.
Let your God
look upon you.
That is all.
God knows.
God understands.
God loves you
with an enormous
love,
And only wants
To look upon you
with that love.
Quiet.
Still.
Be.

Let your God-
Love you.

I wonder if you too can try this. Just take 5 minutes of your day. It may be in the morning while you drink coffee before the family arises. Or at night while they sleep, or during nap time... To me as a mom with two young kids, 5 minutes is doable, even exciting! 5 minutes with no agenda simply to "be" with my Jesus. To refresh. To listen. Ahhh. can't wait!! Who wants to try this with me this summer and hopefully beyond??

Adventures in the City...

I have to say life as a mom of 2 little ones is always an adventure--some fun, some challenging. Life as a mom in the CITY however sometimes feels like trying to catch a fly with chopsticks while riding a bike.
Funny stories from this past week:

• I went to meet up with a friend at a new park which was about 10 miles away--that means it took closer to 25/30 minutes to get there--for you non-city drivers there are lots of stops...However, on the way, I'm sitting at the light and notice that no one in front of me moves when the light turns green. I wait. There are 2 cars in front of me. I stay stopped behind them, not sure why I'm not bothered except I was getting my bearings, looking at my directions and making sure I knew the next road to turn on. The light cycles back to red. The 2 cars in front of me stay stationary and I'm just "going with it". When the light turns green again and there is still no movement, THAT was the moment I started to question if I was in the traffic lane. So I go around the cars and discover they were in fact parked! I'm just glad I didn't wait around for 2 full traffic cycles. As the light began to turn yellow I zoomed through the intersection---phew!
• Another adventure was getting to the Library~I walked using the double stroller (it's about 1.5 miles away--I think?). I learned from this walk I desperately need 2 things: 1. A coffee mug that actually closes. 2. A holder for said coffee mug. It's amazing to me the amount of times I spilled my coffee. I finally gave up and put it in the pocket on the side of my backpack. And promptly forgot about it. *(will come back to this...). When we arrived at the library our stroller was about a half an inch too wide to walk through the door. 2 doors made me hopeful. One door locked, one door too small...oy---some awkward maneuvering and sideways motions later and we're in. Both kids in tact and still in the stroller. The story time was amazing! It was mostly for little ones but still very interactive--with chants and songs and fun motions. Kat was in heaven! (She loves music and dancing!). Several times during the songs she just clapped and clapped out of shear enjoyment. And then would turn around and give me a smile and a hug. My Sweet one. Leaving  the library however was not quite a smoothly. The awkward maneuvering and sideways twist was not working. Fortunately the librarian rescued us and unlocked the 2nd door. While I was locking the door back, things really got crazy. I let go of the stroller and turned my back---focused on the door. Meanwhile, my kids went rolling down the slight hill toward the very busy street! I turned when I noticed and ran after them---luckily they were at an angle and hit the corner of the library first. Unfortunately Shane's ankle also hit the brick corner. :(. (He's fine BTW--no damage done!). As I leaned over to kiss his sweet ankle to "make it better", there went my coffee! All over my shirt and onto my right foot and flip-flop. Sigh. At least the experience of getting out to the library was well worth it.
• Some of the challenges this week---The morning I was potty training my son and allowing   him to sit on the potty while he watched the Elmo DVD on potty training. I received a knock on the door. 12:30pm. It was my downstairs neighbor asking me to please "control my son" because his wife needed to go to work in a few hours and needed sleep. I of course responded with "I will do my best" and apologized...then after he left realized how offended I was. "Control my son"!?!?! Really? They have commented in the past that he sounds like a "rhinoceros". Their words not mine. It's one thing to teach my son not to gallop/stomp/ run in the apartment. It's a whole other thing to teach him not to move. This is what I feel like they are asking me. Unfortunately we live in an old building. We have hard wood floors. This means noise will flow very easily down and all around. Oy. It also means that I am at the point to no longer "try". That I should start letting Shane and Kat have fun whenever they want :/  My compromise so far has been to take them out. Walk to the park, walk to Liam's, go to an indoor playground. Go to a place where they have freedom to slide and run and stomp and play. I do this as much as possible.  **Sorry for the vent here, but it has been weighing very heavily on my heart this week and it needed to come out. Thanks for bearing with me. 

Figuring out this Life in the city/ apartment living has been difficult at times. I am still figuring out how to "be" in the newness. How to find peace and freedom. Luckily I am sustained daily with what I need, and I do have a supportive husband who is watching the kids while I sit at Starbucks and write. Again I am finding that with every struggle and tough adventure, I discover my NEED for him, a CRY for him that makes me grateful and happy for the struggle because it means I get more of Jesus.

New Home...in part...

Everyone keeps saying how impressed they are with how much I've done with our place...how much I've unpacked etc... I think what it comes down to is how important it was for me to feel secure and "normal" or at least having my special things out makes me feel more complete! It may seem superficial, but for me it was essential. Especially with all the changes our family has undergone with this move, it's closure in a lot of ways!

I still have waves of emotions, and times when I miss my old life. But I am beginning to really love it here. One small step at a time. Next week I will hopefully have some pictures up of our pretty walk to the park! So far it is my favorite street in the city, and it's a block away from me!!

Here is a set of pictures I took of our place. 

Yesterday---I made this curtain for my kitchen---Any ideas on what to do with the extra fabric scraps?